Personal Style

Cha Cha or Nah?

IMG_4105I remember being younger and not understanding why people wouldn’t just get out of their “feelings” and just move on with life. Like, how long can you be “sad” for? Well, how does a couple of months sound?

It’s funny how when it creeps in you might be completely unaware of it or, after you experience it for a while you know that it’s coming but you still can’t actually stop it.

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For me it starts with simple things like not wanting to do the dishes one day, and then that day turns to weeks. Then all of a sudden you don’t feel like cooking (considering I’m a person who LOVES cooking this is a big red flag), then it’s the constant exhaustion, wanting to sleep for unreasonable amounts of time yet never feeling rested.

After that it’s the general “not caring” about things which might feel like a small thing but trust me, this isn’t that “unbothered” feeling we all aspire to. It’s more of a “I don’t care if they fire me today because I’m not getting out of bed” type of feeling even though you know you need the money. It’s that reckless “the world could end and everybody could die and I couldn’t care any less” type of feeling. Not a pretty picture.

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IMG_4109That’s why I’m really big on routines. It’s not just a matter of convenience for me, it actually helps me keep track of when a bout of depression might be on it’s way and helps me prepare as much as possible which usually isn’t much but any little bit of help counts.

It feels good to be out of it, to be in a place where you feel you can cope with things much better, to feel like you can handle a full 24h without needing a perpetual nap or break from life. It isn’t something we can completely eliminate but the more you know yourself the easier it is and the less time it takes to get out of it. So know your symptoms, recognize when you’re having a depressive episode, do your best to manage and give yourself time to heal.

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As soon as you feel up to it, get back into the flow of things and…

Trust me, you’ll be OK.

Jacket: Cache Cache | Sweater: Forever 21 | Pants: H&M | Boots: Random online store | Watch: Casio | Studs: H&M | Lipstick: Vamp It Up (918B) by Wet n’ Wild

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5 thoughts on “Cha Cha or Nah?

  1. I identify with a lot of what you said, for me I’m a lot moodier than I once was and I link that to the toll it took on me mentally working in the fashion industry for about 6 yrs and not getting paid being used etc. I turned a new leaf with that with my current main job which is Head of Marketing Comms for a school and doing fashion on the side but the balancing act i do in keeping up with the school work and fashion work, especially with my TV show this year.
    Its been intense and a cascade of assholic men have not helped…anyhoo, I’ve felt unnaturally moody, bleak…but I fight through it…I like your mention here of ‘red flags’. My sis took me to a dance class yesterday and for first 3 mins, I didnt want to and couldnt move. (NB Dancing Is My Thing). As the beats pounded and people hippity hopped around me in glee, I felt myself getting moodier, but then suddenly I snapped out of it and enjoyed my dance class. So I pray for the strength to fight those emotions.
    I’m happy to see that you found that strength and hope you continue to do so when the going gets tough. ( :

    Liked by 1 person

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