August was just a whirlwind of ridiculous, intense, heartbreaking, painful, emotional moments. There was a lot of peeling back the layers and breaking down to build back up and it was just too intense for me to focus on “looking like a person” as mom would put it.
I cleaned out my closet, threw away old clothes and things I never wear, cleaned out all my drawers, threw away old medication, old tools, old papers and it still wasn’t enough.
The full moon this last weekend was a rough one. A lot came up, it was tears on tears on tears but a lot of growing through it too. Got to figure out a lot of things about myself, about my relationships with other people so I took this week to tie up some loose ends and let go of the emotional baggage I think I was trying to get rid of when I started cleaning out my wardrobe and stuff. It was the inside that needed cleaning more than anything and I’m finally at a place where I feel at ease.
Nobody tells you how much weight emotional baggage holds until you let go of it. It’s been a long time since life felt comfortable and breathable and easy. And with that ease you just feel yourself becoming more “you” you know? Life just feels roomier and easier of sorts. It’s hard to explain.
If I could define this feeling in a look, this would probably be it. It’s vulnerable and soft and light and flowy and definitely not perfect since I envisioned it with a light brown clutch I don’t own and no store seems to carry but it’s OK and it’s beautiful anyway with it’s imperfections and everything. It’s also green which I can’t help but associate with innocence and inexperience but also with life and youth and above all with blooming.
It’s such a beautiful thing to get over a storm and not celebrate because it’s over, but celebrate because you realize you made it through it, alive, well, better than ever and still standing, still blooming!
If that’s not the most beautiful thing to feel I don’t know what is!
Dress: Bershka | Shoes: Random online boutique | Bag: Handmade from Brazil (gifted to me 10+ years ago) | Earrings: gifted | Bangles: honestly, don’t remember where they’re from | Lip Gloss: MAC Cosmetics